The Gloss Group Charter
Mission Statement
Gloss is an event-hosting and educational organization within the NYC nightlife, alternative lifestyle, kink + fetish, and sex positive spaces, dedicated to safe, diverse, and enthusiastic community development. We are a team led by rubberists, for rubberists. We aim to create a close-knit community through hosting mixers, play parties, and other events and spaces for all lovers of latex. We strive to curate an environment and a reputation that will allow us to create ever larger, shinier, and more fantastic gatherings for years to come!
2. Our Team & History
Gloss Group was founded in fall of 2022. Our Co-Founders first cooked up the idea while attending Fetish Factory Fetish Weekend earlier that summer. Tess - the newest kinkster of the group, who was attending FF for the first time - was astounded to see such a thriving rubber centric fetish community in Florida. She couldn’t help wondering why there wasn’t a similar community in New York City. After asking Kirsten, Tom, and other veteran kinksters about this reality, they shared with her some of the history of latex in NYC before she had joined the community. Most notably, the story of The Baroness, the fashion empire and fetish community she led, and the recent retirement of her NYC Boutique and move to France in 2021.
The Baroness was not only a trailblazer and matriarch in bringing latex culture and fashion from Europe to NYC, but was also Kirsten’s personal mentor, having apprenticed for her starting in 2005. It was clear that the latex community of NYC had fallen fast in the wake of The Baroness’ departure, and the void of leadership she left. Through their conversations, Tess, Tom, and Kirsten agreed that someone had to take up the mantle, and were determined to set out and do just that. AND THUS - Gloss Group was born! Today we are led by the below Team of organizers:
Lead Organizers
Tess Itura
Co-Founder | CE+MO (Chief Executive and Marketing Officer)
Tom Tempus
Co-Founder | CF+TO (Chief Finance and Technology Officer)
Kirsten Li
Co-Founder | CMSO (Chief Member Services Officer) | Resident Latex Designer
Additional Team Members
Marco DarkBlackLight
Co-Founder | Senior Membership Development Officer
Rebecca-Emma Pink
Senior Consultant for Safer Space Practices
3. Ethos (or “Our Vibe”)
We are a consent-driven organizer inspired by other ethical and responsible events in the city (of which there are saddeningly few). We want people to feel safe and comfortable when they attend our events, as that allows for a greater degree of self-expression, which is the whole point! To this end, although we do not relish the responsibility of removing or banning anyone from our spaces, we will prioritize the safety and comfort of the community over everything else.
Our Team is committed to supporting reporters and survivors of sexual assault. We will believe you, even if the person you are reporting is well-liked or respected in the scene—even if the person has a personal relationship with one of our Co-Founders and Lead Organizers. Our promise to our members is that we will always aim to put community first. Beyond this being what we see as simply the right thing to do, this promise is also self-serving. We deeply believe that this community first mindset is the only way to make Gloss become something that will last. A party series is not self-sustaining, but a community can be.
4. Rules + Policies
The rules are not suggestions. To keep everyone safe we will be actively enforcing the following policies with consequences ranging from a private discussion to being barred from all Gloss events and spaces. We will be both respecting and reporting to the NYC Play Party Blacklist.
Consent + Safer Spaces
Guardians
Gloss will provide Guardians at every event where play is allowed, who can be identified by red LED armbands that they wear while on shift. If you have any question or issue while at a Gloss event, speak to them or an organizer for assistance. All Gloss Guardians are required to take the Universal Guardian Training, developed and taught by Rebecca-Emma Pink and Emma Kay.
RACK
We endorse Risk Aware Consensual Kink, or RACK. If you are participating in any activity or scene, it is expected that you first negotiate clear, mutually agreed upon limits and parameters. Importantly, again note that RACK has the word consensual in the name. If someone violates a boundary, if someone did not adequately discuss the risks of the play you participated in, or if you at any point feel unsafe (or even merely confused) speak to a Guardian for intervention.
Consent
We operate in an “Ask First” model of consent, meaning you must verbally ask someone before any form of play or physical touch, and receive a verbal “Yes” or affirmative and enthusiastic response. We encourage our attendees to ask for consent regularly and consistently in their interactions with fellow attendees, even in just normal social interactions, not only kink play. (ie. “Can I sit with you?” “Can I give you a hug?” “Can I take a closer look at that cool toy you have?”) Consent must be continuous and can be withdrawn at any time.
Substances
Alcohol
Many of our events will be BYOB. We will often have some drinks and treats to share, but please do bring your own beverages when indicated and do not assume refreshments beyond water will be provided unless specifically stated in the event listing.
Other Things
We are adults. We know people partake in various substances at nightlife events. Please be responsible and know that any open drug use is not allowed for liability purposes. However, Gloss is a Harm Reduction Focused Organization. We will always have at least one Guardian on shift who is trained in how to administer NARCAN.
Inebriation
Control your inebriation. In order to give and receive consent, individuals need to be reasonably sober and able to participate in their chosen activities safely. In addition, irresponsible consumption can have negative impacts far beyond a hangover. No one wants to go to a party and end up a babysitter (or EMS). Know your limits and do not use Gloss events as a space to try substances you are not familiar with. Intoxication will not be accepted as an excuse for violating the rules.
Discretion
Photos
A big part of latex is looking hot and we are just as excited as you to capture those amazing looks! That being said, always make sure to get explicit consent from everyone in-frame if you wish to take a photo. Most importantly, our Play Parties prohibit any personal photography. We will always have our photo booth available for you to capture your look and regularly hire professional photographer(s) for our events, so put the phones away!
Identities
Do not out anyone. Some people are very open about their lifestyles, others are not or cannot afford to be. Be discreet when you arrive and leave venues. Do not post anything that might compromise someone’s identity without their expressed consent.
Event Links + Tickets
Do not share the Private Members Only event links or passwords unless you have been given explicit permission to do so. If someone who is not in our member list purchases a private password-protected ticket to an event, they will not be allowed entry or given a refund for the ticket.
Respect
Attendees
Be kind. Everyone here has at least one thing in common, so focus on that! If someone is making you uncomfortable in one of our spaces (digital or in-person), please talk to a Guardian or Organizer and it will be handled. If you have an existing issue with another member from events taking place outside of our spaces, please talk to an Organizer to have it remedied. Again, preserving the safety of the whole of Gloss membership/attendees takes precedence over any personal relationships the Organizers may have.
Toys
In addition to people, respect their belongings. Do not take any toy or possession of another attendee without requesting and receiving permission first.
Space
Respect the space. Sometimes we may own the space we are in, sometimes we might rent, but in either case treat it as if you had to clean up afterwards (because someone will!)
Spirit
Attend in the spirit intended. This is a rubberist-focused community, so please heed the stated dress code for each of our events. If you aren’t comfortable with the aesthetic or dress code indicated, then that event may just not be for you (and that’s ok!)
Play
At our Play Parties, everyone is allowed to play, no one is required or expected to. If you feel pressured to participate in an activity you aren’t comfortable with, notify a Guardian.
Scene Etiquette
A big part of latex is looking hot, so voyeurism is not just expected, it’s often the point! That said, don’t be a creeper. Give people ample space, do not intrude on a scene or aftercare without being invited, and remember you watch with your eyes, not your mouth or hands.
Inclusivity
Gloss is a community for everyone! Any person, of any race, gender, sexuality, body type or ability are all welcome here – just so long as they wear shiny clothes.
Health
We live in an era of what seems to be perpetual pandemics. Please prioritize the health and safety of others, even at the cost of FOMO! If you are sick or think you might be, stay home and attend the next one–which is much likelier to happen if everyone adheres to this.
5. Vetting + Membership
Public Events
Anyone can attend a public event! You do not need to be vetted, but please do fill out our intake form so that we know who you are. Public events like our Cocktail Hours are great spaces to bring new friends and folks you know will be interested in Gloss, but that you don’t know well enough to personally vouch for them as safe to attend Play Parties.
Play/Private Events
Currently, all Gloss Play Parties are vetted members-only events. Play Party ticket access codes will only be sent out to people who are on our Members List. In order to be vetted and approved for membership, please fill out the Intake Form.
Vetting Procedure
After you submit your Intake Form, Kirsten Li (or Tom depending on availability) will personally review your application using the following procedures:
Review all answers given in the Intake Form to ensure adequate understanding of The Gloss Charter, of consent, experience or familiarity with Play Party Etiquette, and interest in and understanding of what latex and latex fetish is.
Check the provided social media handles to confirm your identity and review your displayed personality. (aka a vibe check.) Look out for any hateful language or indication of opinions or beliefs that may be in conflict with the Gloss Values.
Cross reference our internally tracked Gloss Incident Reports to ensure there are no known accusations or behavior issues associated with the applicant.
If needed, Kirsten will ask the other Lead Organizers to review or investigate individual applicants when she is unable to determine if they pass all requirements.
We will reach out to the listed Sponsors to confirm if they vouch for the applicant and if they are vouching for them specifically as a safe, chill person to be invited to a Play Party context, specifically.
Once the Sponsor, if provided, confirms, and if the applicant has passed all the above stated requirements, they will be added to our Official Member List, our Email List, and our Close Friends List on Instagram, so that they will receive all the appropriate communication.
Kirsten then emails the applicant to inform them of their acceptance or denial of membership.
Please note:
You must have a sponsor in order to be vetted and given Membership Status. If you do not know anyone who can sponsor you, please attend some of our public events so that you can get to know us!
Attending a public event does not guarantee access to private events.
Applications can not be guaranteed to be reviewed if submitted less than 48 hours prior to a Play Party, so please submit your intake form with adequate advanced notice.
Approval is at the discretion of the Co-Founders. At Gloss we believe that access to our spaces is a privilege, not a right. When in doubt we will air on the side of caution.
If you submit an application and do not hear back within 1 week, you can email us to confirm your application was received and does not need any further information.
6. Consent Violations + Accountability
We Believe Survivors
If you have experienced a consent violation or sexual assault, above all else, know that you will be listened to and believed. Please do not stay silent out of fear or because someone in question is well-liked or known by the hosts.
There are two key beliefs that we hold which drive Gloss’s policies:
Safer spaces allow for greater freedom of expression and opportunities for growth.
Overlooking consent violations makes the organization culpable for any that follow.
So, not only is it the right thing to do, but vigorously enforcing rules governing safety and consent is also acting in our own self-interest.
Incident Reporting
If you have any issue or concern, you can fill out the Gloss Incident Report form (which can be submitted anonymously if preferred) or discuss it directly with any of our Lead Organizers or report to one of the emails listed below:
Restorative Justice
Gloss is currently in a process of learning and understanding how Restorative Justice can be a part of our Safer Space Practices. However, at this time we do not manage Restorative Justice processes for those who are reported for consent violation or safety issues. We believe this kind of work should be done by those who are trained and qualified to do so, not by party producers. Until we can determine a way to provide and pay for experts that can facilitate Restorative Justice processes, and until we figure out a way to engage with those processes without compromising the comfort and safety of survivors and all of our attendees, then we cannot facilitate this kind of work internally.
Furthermore, we maintain the belief that access to our spaces, as well as any other kink + fetish + sex positive space, is a privilege, not a right. At the end of the day we do not owe anyone access to our community or events, and in particular do not owe anyone who has already caused harm to the opportunity to regain access. When in doubt, we will air on the side of caution and simply not allow someone access if we are not certain they are able to act appropriately.
7. Thank You + Feedback
You made it to the end of The Gloss Group Charter! Thank you for reading and taking the time to ensure you have all the information necessary to be a great addition to our shiny community.
If you have any feedback, concerns, or questions about the information in this document, please submit your thoughts via the Gloss: Suggestions and Feedback Form (which can be submitted anonymously if you prefer) or send an email to glossgroup.nyc@gmail.com
S. ***Super Secret Code Word***
CRITICALLY, remember the secret codeword “Platypus”. “Platypus” proves you read this. Face shame and humiliation while you’re asked to read the charter in its entirety at the door if you forget or never read the very important word “platypus”. “Platypus.”
“Platypus.”
